God's ways are beyond our human understanding  -  Len Hassall  (Lanarkshire, Scotland.)

All of a sudden, I felt as if a terrific charge of electricity shot through me from the top of my head and hit me in the solar plexus! I was at the same time absolutely shattered inwardly, and only with a supreme effort did I manage to control myself from yelling, screaming and shouting at the top of my voice.

Fortunately, the film was restarted, the lights went out, and I was able to sit in the dark, still feeling what had happened and wondering, "What on earth happened"? I didn't understand it, and gradually I returned to the near normal.

Afterwards I found that when I went to bed I automatically curled up into a child's birth position, and I went to sleep very relaxed, even in noisy conditions. Also, following this I was aware that most of the things I had enjoyed doing (drinking, dancing, going out with girls, etc.) I now didn't enjoy at all.

Shortly after this I left the Navy and had some difficulty settling down. I became gradually more and more depressed, and no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of it. I said to myself, "get fit and feel better." I got fit, but I didn't shake off the depression. I progressed through using positive thinking, but still had the depression. It got worse. I found that life got very difficult and I started to ask myself why? Why am I suffering? Why is there all this suffering in the world? What is the cause of it? Why are some people born healthy and into good situations, others handicapped etc., etc.?

Because I was in such a bad state, I had to find an answer to all these questions, so that I could resolve my own problems.

Leading on from this, I started to read all sorts of books that seemed to give me some answers. It was only because I was suffering so much that I had to find the solution to my problem of depression and so kept delving into the question about self and life. What was it all about?

Still depressed 3 or 4 years after the cinema incident, I had by then reached rock bottom. I had found lots of worldly answers, and clues to what life and suffering were all about, but not how I could get rid of my depression. I felt that I had exhausted all possibilities of changing how I felt, and so I decided that I would kill myself, because I couldn't stand it any more. My reasoning was like this — "If this is all there is to life, I don't want it, and if there is another life, it can't be any worse. If no other life - goodbye"!

So I went to bed in my usual depressed state, and said, "If I don't feel any better in the morning I will kill myself". Next morning, as usual, I was depressed! I went downstairs; no-one was in the house, so I stood by the gas oven and was just about to turn on the gas taps and stick my head in when all of a sudden I became aware of the presence of Jesus Christ. I just knew it was Jesus! A terrific peace that was beyond my understanding came over me, and I was only aware of Jesus' presence. I lost all sense of my surroundings and body. My depression had gone! I felt fantastic, and at the same time I heard a voice, either in my head or by my head, gently say, "No, this isn't the way". Also I was at one and the same time in this peace, hearing the words, and was aware and understood that everything was perfect in the world! Even suffering! I understood that all operated within laws, and everyone and everything was living and moving within these laws.

I was given the understanding that this situation was the lowest I would ever be in, and that I would come out of it and find the Truth. Within my thoughts and inner vision, I was given the understanding that I would gradually get better over a period of time. During that time I would go and look into all sorts of ways to discover the truth about life, and I would come into and know the real and absolute Truth.

Combined with all this was the total understanding that my confidence would be eventually, and should be, in the spiritual laws and principles of God. This confidence was to be absolute, and I was "shown" and experienced that confidence momentarily, so that I would be able to say, e.g. to the wind or the storm, or whatever, with that confidence, and in the right spirit, in line with God's laws, "Peace, be still," and it would be done instantly!

Standing by the gas oven, all of this came to me at the same time, without words other than those mentioned. I knew that I would find the way in time! Then after about a minute of this I returned to my old depressed state, but I also knew that I could not kill myself. Over the next four or five years I studied Freud, Jung, Adler, Reich, Buddhism, Quakerism, Yoga and all sorts of "religious" approaches. I followed one of these "religious" approaches, called Subud, for a number of years. I also tried out various physical approaches to attaining a state of well-being.

My life since then has been a very varied one and has always been one of following and finding out the Laws of God in all sorts of conditions. I have looked into many unusual ways and things and tested them by experience. I did find out some of the answers and got rid of my depression. Over the years I went through many varied experiences, spiritual and physical, in a battle to overcome my fleshly, worldly nature.

A word about suicide: I was for some reason very, very fortunate indeed to be saved from suicide then. I now know that I would almost certainly have gone to hell, because I had not been saved, in the true sense of believing in God and Jesus as my Saviour, and asking Jesus into my life.

Since that time of knowing the presence of Jesus, I have realised fully that God is our Father, Jesus Christ is the Son of God and my Saviour, and the Holy Spirit has been sent into the world by God through Jesus. I know now that I am a spiritual child of God. I have asked Jesus into my life and I am saved.

By believing that God IS, and that Jesus came into the world to save you by means of His sacrificial death and bring you out of darkness into the Kingdom of Heaven, and then asking Him into your life, you will be born again spiritually. You will go to Heaven when you die physically and leave this world.

If you reject God's rule in your life, or deny that Jesus is who He said (and proved) He is, you will go to hell. It's your own choice, and it's make-up-your-mind time. You may die within a short space of time, or you might live a long life, but once you pass from this world, out of your body, you have no further choice or chance to decide. Now is the time of salvation.

Lord Jesus, I believe You are the Son of God, the Christ Jesus. Forgive me my sins on the basis of Your sacrificial death and resurrection. I forgive those who have sinned against me. Come into my heart - my mind, my soul, my spirit. I ask to be born again through Your Spirit and accept You, Lord Jesus, as my Saviour. Amen.

If you mean this, then praise the Lord that He has saved you; you've been born again and will enter the love, light, power and presence of the Kingdom of Heaven, as promised in the Bible, where God lays down the simple conditions for eternal life.